Rapid Move for Mom to a New Care Facility

Since we left the San Francisco Bay Area, we try to return periodically for a week or so to check in on family and see friends. We visited just before this past Christmas, intending to do the same, but we wound up doing a lot more on this trip.

Mom’s Situation

Mike’s parents went into assisted living before we moved away six years ago. A few years ago, we hired a medical care manager to keep an eye on and help them as needed.  After his dad passed, we just had his mom stay in the same place and continued the monitoring to minimize any further disruption.  The care manager visits every week or so.

Changes in Situation

Even before Mike’s dad passed, mom needed an additional private caregiver eight hours a day. At first, it was to ensure she didn’t stand up, because she often would then fall and hurt herself. Later, it was just to supplement the staff at her assisted living facility.

Several years ago, the facility was sold from the Sunrise company to a company called Oakmont. Over time, we noticed an extensive change in staff and a reduced level of care. Most of the changes didn’t affect mom much initially. But for the last year or so, our case manager has expressed concern the care was declining too much.

The situation continued to deteriorate. But, we were naturally not anxious to rock the boat for fear of change. We also had no idea where mom might go from memory care, and we wanted to ensure she was well cared for. When we asked the medical care manager for recommendations, she mentioned a few places, but having not seen them, we weren’t anxious to move mom.

Our Most Recent Visit

Due to a recent stroke, mom was supposed to have a mechanical soft diet to diminish the risk of choking. When we walked into her room in December, she was being fed by her caregiver and the food was cut but not ground up. I, for one, was furious. The facility was not complying with the doctor’s orders, and the private caregiver did nothing about it. This was a choking hazard, and the instructions had been given multiple times.

In addition, communication with the staff about mom’s situation had become increasingly sparse. Our care manager had tried on multiple occasions and sometimes simply couldn’t find anyone to talk to on the floor. We had already arranged to see the recommended facilities later that day. But we were particularly anxious to do so after the visit.

Understanding Small Care Facilities

Our only understanding of other facilities was depressing nursing homes. My grandfather lived at a place called a “board and care home”, but I didn’t really remember what that was.

A few hours later, our first stop on Wednesday afternoon was a single-family home near where Mike grew up. We met the owner and had a tour of a nice, small house modified to care for six residents. But they didn’t have an opening right then. We were then told that they did have an opening at their other house nearby, so we popped in the car and went to look.

Angel Haven also housed six residents and three full-time caregivers. Not only was it much less expensive, but the level of care was so much better than the assisted living and private caregiver combined. So, we had additional savings because we didn’t need the additional care. The savings were a side benefit because we really hoping to improve mom’s level of care. Our only concern was how mom would handle the change of venue and caregivers. Yet, we felt her situation was so bad it warranted the move. We got the paperwork started on the spot and gave notice to Oakmont.

Actually Moving

Mom’s new room is smaller than her old, one-bedroom unit. Moving involved getting rid of dressers, cabinets, and recliners. We decided store some valuable art and memorabilia offsite. Our other wonderful family helper stepped up to help dispose of the rest. As usual, she did a marvelous job in the last week before Christmas.

For our part, we had to find a very small storage unit, preferably temperature-controlled. We decided on one near where we usually stay for easy access. I found a deal and got the unit with locks by the next day, Thursday. That afternoon, we returned to mom’s room and took at least nine pieces of art to the car. Then came the boxes of memorabilia that Mike insists he is going to go through. We figured we would decide what to do with everything later.

Our medical care manager arranged to have mom and her clothes and some pictures transported to the new facility the following Wednesday. Although we had to wait to see her in her new place on the next visit, it was all pretty amazing. I’ll add that the people at the facility sent us pictures of mom settled right away.

The End Result

First, our goal was to improve mom’s situation, and I can tell you that has happened. There seemed to be no adjustment at all. She is so improved they took her off of hospice again. To help reinforce our decision, the former facility held us to their 30-day notice, even though we were out by the end of December. They didn’t call to ask about why mom moved. Even worse, the director of the facility would not return my phone calls. I left several messages, but she never even tried to call. I finally gave up and paid the January bill.

That sealed it. We are so pleased with mom’s new situation and her well-being. The last time we visited, she was fully dressed with earrings and makeup. That is just an indication of the level of care she is now receiving. Our medical case manager visits weekly, and she is very happy with the results, too.

Tell us about any similar situations you have had to deal with.