Looking for my Great Grandfather’s Grave in Dej Romania

Our trip to Romania included a few days in Cluj-Napoca in Transylvania. My last visit to Cluj was 32 years ago to see my great-aunts, my grandfather’s sisters. Three things prompted our current visit to Cluj: First, to show Mike my great grandfather’s grave in a small town close to Cluj called Dej. Second, I wanted to visit several UNESCO-fortified towns in the area of Cluj. Finally, we met some people in Argentina from Cluj and they made it sound interesting, which it was.

Looking for My Great Grandfather’s Grave

During my trip to visit my great aunts 32 years ago, I took copious notes about everything I saw and everything that one of my aunts told me about our family. Upon my return, I wrote all of my experiences in a short story, which I referred to when we were planning our trip. My notes and recollections were that my aunt took me to see my great-grandfather’s grave in Dej, Romania. I remember seeing the new headstone she had installed for her father, who passed away in 1942.

During WWII, my entire family lived in Dej, so we took an Uber for an hour from Cluj to the Jewish cemetery I found on the map. We were able to get the keys to the gates from a very old woman who lived next door (luckily, she was there). Once we entered the cemetery, nothing looked familiar and most of it was very overgrown. But in for a Romanian bani, in for a Romanian leu. We spent at least an hour climbing all through the burrs and brambles looking at headstones. Occasionally we removed plants from the headstones to read the names.

Unfortunately, we didn’t find his grave and I was very disappointed but the cemetery just didn’t look the way I remembered it nor did the surrounding buildings. Maybe I got the location wrong in my notes. I actually went back to my notes and I didn’t get the town wrong. Besides, the town couldn’t have been big enough for than one Jewish Cemetery. I don’t understand what happened because I can picture what the headstone looked like.

Disappointment Made Us Hungry

After an hour, we were hungry and thirsty and on foot, so we located the main part of the town not too far away and we went in search of a restaurant. After we had cooled off and eaten lunch, we wandered around the town. I thought we could ask at the synagogue about the cemetery but it was closed and there didn’t seem to be a way to call anyone. Just across from the Synagogue is a statue dedicated to the Jews of Dej who were deported in 1944. When I looked at my previous notes, I found that I had mentioned seeing the statue 32 years ago. So, we were in roughly the right place, but we still couldn’t find the grave, I was disappointed.

After we had explored the town, we figured we would find an Uber to take us back to Cluj.

Riding the Local Trains

Yet another travel challenge. Unfortunately, none of the rideshare apps worked so we figured we would have to take a train back to Cluj. It still took us at least half an hour to find a taxi to take us to the train station for our return trip to Cluj. We also had to figure out the local train schedule. There is a small train that just goes back and forth between Dej and Cluj. So we asked the woman at the ticket office, who didn’t speak English, about the train. She pointed us to a small train sitting on the tracks.

We had no idea if we were supposed to buy a ticket on the train or before we boarded, but first, we had to make sure it was the right train. Again, no English but we figured out it was the right train but it was unclear when it was leaving. Mike figured he had to go back into the station to get the tickets and he had to pay cash, which we didn’t have.

I figured I would tell the conductor what was going on and then stay on the train so they would wait for Mike to get back with the tickets. That strategy worked but it took Mike a while to return because he needed coins to buy the tickets. Thankfully, some locals took pity on him and exchanged his bill for a smaller tender. Did I mention it was 100 degrees F that day, but the train had windows? I must say that I spent most of the train ride picking sticky burrs out of my shoes and socks but we were happy the train was moving and there was a breeze. An interesting but disappointing day.

Day Trip to the UNESCO Fortified Towns

The first thing we learned on our day tour from Cluj is the definition of a fortified city. It turns out that it is pretty simple. A church was typically built in a high defensible position and then surrounded by a series of fences, or fortifications. Most of the time the defenses were built in response to a specific threat throughout hundreds of years. When the invaders would come, all of the townspeople and property would go to the church, inside the fortifications.

Another thing we learned was since the churches and fortifications were built at the top of a hill, we had to climb a lot of stairs. That, along with the traffic and the long car ride, made us pretty tired out by the time we got back to Cluj.

Visiting Two Different Towns

On our tour, we visited two different UNESCO-fortified towns. First came Sibiu. A city with well-preserved medieval fortifications and an old center that’s a candidate for UNESCO World Heritage Site status. Sibiu is known for its eye-like rooftops and is also a cultural and gastronomic destination. Here, in addition to a modest church, there was a small chapel with original frescoes. We were also shown a storage area underneath the church that held all kinds of interesting artifacts. Attached to the modest church was a beautifully restored clock tower. The town seemed to have a thriving cafe culture.

Sighisoara has a medieval citadel and UNESCO World Heritage site built in the 12th century by Saxon settlers. It’s the largest inhabited medieval citadel in South-Eastern Europe. From the top, you can easily see three sets of fortification walls built at different times to protect the growing town.

After climbing stairs in a covered walkway, we got to the church on top of a hill. People are still working to restore the church and the crypt, but it was a little shocking to see remains in the crypt. After the church, we visited a small history museum located in a tower that seemed to include some of everything. The most interesting to me where the display of medical tools used in the late Middle Ages. They were truly horrible but I suppose they saved lives.

Visiting the Romaní (Roma people)

One of the most interesting things we did on our day trip to the fortified towns was to meet a Romani, (a gypsy family although the term “gypsy” is considered to be a racial slur). They have a long history in this part of the world and most no longer wander around.

We visited them in their fairly new house in a Romani neighborhood. Living in a house is a relatively recent trend, and they seem to be adopting the lifestyle slowly. Our host had an indoor bathroom, but he said many of his neighbors didn’t. Although we were sitting in a kitchen of sorts, it looked like they were still using an outdoor one primarily. Traveling is still in their blood, which makes the homeownership lifestyle problematic (I can relate). Their son stands to inherit the house but is conflicted about staying or traveling. Change comes slowly.

Today, most are self-employed, they work hard and are prosperous, even though historically all of the Roma were slaves. While I read about widespread poverty, racism, and economic inequality in the Roma population of Romania, our host didn’t discuss this with us. In addition, he and his family seemed to be living well. They were quite hospitable and offered us traditional cherry brandy and some cakes while we peppered them with questions.

In modern Romania, there are approximately 1.85 million Roma people. We were told they many are expert in metalworking and are skilled craftsmen. I can attest that I bought a beautiful pendant, while we were there.

All About Cluj

We only had one day in the town itself. Things seemed to be well tended and there was lots of new construction in the center of town. After exploring on foot for a while, we decided to visit the Ethnographic Museum of Transylvania because this is where my family came from.

There were artifacts from many different periods. From the Middle Ages, there were instruments for hunting, fishing, storing grain, making wine, and churning butter. The spindles for making thread and the weaving machine were interesting. This museum had the most extensive collection of traditional costumes of any museum I’ve ever been to. There were costumes from many different regions of the country. Ethnic costumes were also shown for Hungarians, the largest minority in Romania. One takeaway was that it must be really cold there most of the year because most of the traditional coats were made of animal skin and fur.

Food

I truly need to apologize for not being able to write about the food because I didn’t like it and didn’t eat much more than bread. My impression was that there was lots of goulash and plentiful pig products. At this point, I’ll hand the food descriptions back to Mike because clearly I can’t do it justice.

Mike: There wasn’t much to say about the food. I had some good goulash and a super strong garlic soup. I also ordered four local ground meat sausages, which turned out to be way bigger than I expected. There were some ordinary salads and a crispy chicken wrap and just like the rest of Europe in the summer, there was ice cream. The place near our hotel was especially well-rated. We were both looking forward to the food at our next stop, Bologna Italy.

What would you visit while in Transylvania?